Brenda

I have had Brenda on my mind a lot the past few days and I would like to share some of my thoughts while they are fresh. I hope she doesn't mind. For those of you who don't know my sister-in-law I'll give you some history. Brenda and my brother started dating in high school. They spent all their spare time together and became very, very close. Right before my brother left on his mission she started having some strange symptoms. The doctors weren't sure what was wrong with her. My brother left on his mission and while he was gone Brenda's condition worsened. While Tim was on his mission she was diagnosed with ALS also known as Lou Gehrig's disease. She continued to wait for Tim. When Tim's mission ended Brenda flew to Japan with my parent's to pick him up. By that time her health had declined and it was obvious that she was not doing well. Tim was a bit overwhelmed and sad about her condition but as devoted as he'd always been to her, he was in it for the long haul. They were married on January 14th 1995 in the Los Angeles temple. Their love and commitment for each other was obvious and the ceremony was beautiful. Brenda's condition steadily declined and the doctors gave her 5-7 years to live. What the doctors didn't realize is that Brenda is a fighter and she wasn't about to give up. It has now been more than 12 years since her diagnosis and although she is almost completely dependent on others to care for her, she is still with us and for that I am so grateful. I have had the opportunity at different times to help take care of her and it has deepened my love for her and helped me to appreciate life more.

When I was in Boise last weekend, my sister Amanda, who is the YW president in her ward asked my Mom, Anna, Brenda and myself to give the lesson to the girls. The lesson was on service. Brenda spent a lot of time preparing for her part of the lesson. She was the first to speak. The spirit was so strong and I couldn't hold back my emotions. She talked about how she struggled with depression for a time during her illness and there were times she wanted to give up. She hated having to depend on others to care for her. She was always independent and now she was dependent on others to care for her. She said there was a turning point where she felt at peace and was able to LET people serve her. Her testimony of service grew and she knew that by not allowing people to serve her she was doing a disservice to them and herself. Part of the spirit of service is allowing others to serve you. She talked about how she can't wait until the next life where she can be made whole and be able to give back to all who have served her. Something I didn't mention is that Brenda has a BEAUTIFUL singing voice. She would sing in choirs and would sing solos in church, sometimes with my sister Anna and at other events. She wanted to major in music in college. Because of the disease she no longer has the same singing voice. My sister Anna also has a beautiful singing voice and she sang a solo as part of this lesson. Brenda said in her talk that she hoped in the next life she would be able to sing with Anna again.

I love Brenda so much and appreciate her example of faith, courage, spirituality and kindness. I'm so grateful that I have been able to get to know her and learn from her. I know that through faith miracles can happen and that she will be made whole if not in this life, in the next.